Life in Maine, anywhere is a short journey.
Often you and I are plain too dang busy to realize the importance of the each and every milestone. Not serious enough about what really matters in our many relationships with those around us. The roads we select that seemed right at the time, the ones we should not have taken happens. But the long way home has its own set of rewards too. Living in Maine is kept simple. Less cluttered, for the most part spent outdoors.
Because learning arrives right on schedule, in bits and pieces much quicker under bluer skies, breathing fresh Maine air.
But we sleep through class. Passing notes, daydreaming and thinking about recess. The Bubble and Squeak in the cafeteria you can smell. Eventually, glimpses of crystal clear awareness usually hit us right on time but after the fact. Because during the school room exercise, we are distracted. Not only focused on what is happening in front, behind and in the rows on each side.
But the unfinished inside business, housekeeping. “Homework” that needs addressing, deciphering that others around you don’t just automatically know how they are written into that script. What part they signed on for, that you would like them to play, and why it is so dog gone important.
Bogged down, mired, held back by the insecurities crying out inside.
The starts and stops throughout life unlock the puzzle pieces. The missing odd cut shapes gleaned, earned from each event, situation, relationship. How we use them or not defines us. Shows a pattern of unmet needs we weed and feed first inside. Way before anyone else’s unique set get dove tailed in, provided for and addressed adequately. Juggling one ball happens for balance, to get a feel, comfortable before any extras are introduced to the rotation right? So you don’t drop them all.
Like playing only one note at a time on the Fischer Price tinny piano with the brightly colored keys.
Before pulling out all the stops. Trying to move on to intricate chords, diminished sevenths, minor melodies. Or playing bass notes, bells, chimes in your stocking feet.
What is wrong? The frustrating answer the person asking it does not always know. But somehow, whoever is closest is responsible for a standard default. To time after time leave the aggrieved party off the hook, without a reactionary role when affairs go afoul. Because true, secure happiness on your own first is missing. And expecting everyone around you to make you safe and round the clock happy never has a warm, fuzzy, friendly ending. Drill your own deep cold well to refresh, to satisfy the thirst. Before panhandling. Begging for a cup of water each from every Tom, Dick and Harry around you on a full time basis. You have to provide the basis table settings, the plate, cup, fork, knife and spoon for the picnic feast.
Confusion, conflict, debate and add a little pride, stubborness can all cause a person to make matters worse.
Ever heard someone yell “do something, anything?” Well, in Maine, it’s stop. Hold up. Whoa. Find your special place in nature to retreat to then reflect. Seek, find, gain answers to life’s many quandaries. Don’t mess it up more by just doing something, anything when new results are not going to happen with the same old approach to the problem.
Can you see yourself in this video about a simple situation escalating at a public parking lot while shopping for a few items?
VIDEO | Watch The Interaction, What Happens When Tit Leads To Tat, And Way Beyond.
Funny, scary, exaggerated? Or something to be learned about what drives and provokes us. Life should not be a race, a competition with others. We are taught to play well, be considerate, think of the other person. Stay calm. But why does that go to heck in the hand basket when seemingly challenged and no way you are going to turn the other cheek. Not able to back down. And start to demand, expect justice in whatever way it has to be be doled out, administered.
Putting out a fire dousing it with gasoline never works well with eye for an eye and hang on. Here we go with I’ll meet you, raise, up the ante, and it’s time to see the cards you are holding. What you are really made of, when others protecting their twos, threes and face cards pretty close to their chest scream “call”. Demand to know what do you have, are you bluffing or not?
If you are at peace within yourself, that joy radiates.
Is apparent to all without words exchanged. Maine is a state of less people so more time spent alone or in small groups. Getting to know you happens when you log more time with just you. How you tick. Because if you don’t know, no one else is going to figure it out easily. Without lots of hit or miss wasted emotion, heartache and hurt feelings. Which escalates like the parking lot round and round above when you and I come unglued.
Growing out of a simple case of unmet needs, expectations that become a rock, paper, scissors fury of desperation. Attempting to get a handle on a situation spiraling out of control. Like the rock ’em sock ’em, crash and dent auto body work performed at the public parking lot. The destructive gale force storm, demolition derby of aggression. That raises its ugly head with ten and two driving skills applied with a “now it’s personal” purpose to prove a point.
The anger inside, how extensive, how long has it been carried, why is it there?
What hurts, wounds and sensitive purple spots on your heart do you or anyone lick, carry, coddle? Valuable little black box information that serves everyone better if known before a crash. Prior to a relationship going south, off radar. Rewinding instead for a do over and squawk box confirmation that “roger that, you are cleared for take off, please taxi out to runway one six niner”. To head out into the strong head winds when you lift off. Leave the safety, solid ground of the landing field.
And then shortly because expectations too great, ownership for the last flight mishaps ignored. And May Day, CQ, SOS repeats itself. Search and rescue on all the scanner hailing frequencies erupts. Then begin again the process of trust, knowing none of us lives on a protected island forever. And mended hearts can fly again. But not without safe boundaries. To limit, allow trust, transparency, honesty about past pain, the suffering too long and being broken.
We are all vulnerable. And why we need each other. To share and care. But sad fact, you can not with everyone. Not everyone is a match, compatible. Accept it. Or don’t. And remember everything boils down to timing. Are you, the other person in tune, ready or not here we go? Your judgement, discernment improve for sure. Especially when we all realize we are not perfect, never will be. But are honest about it. Have to be. Overlook an offense.
Don’t just band aid the hurt, repeating the same bottoming out mistakes. Shake loose, explore, grow in a place like Maine. Learning to set healthy limits. To just say no. When it is not okay, all peachy keen around you with people you care about and love that try to take away what you are proud of, that defines you.
Handle with care.
Make a list of your limits, expectations, dreams and share it. It is you, your character, values, beliefs. Your own guide, owner’s manual. With a publication run of just one. That your kids learn from as others grow to respect you for you. Seeing you are trying to walk the walk. Not just a blah blah pretty, clever buzz wordsmith.
Maine big state, find what is missing in your life in the beauty of the down to Earth people, the drop dead gorgeous natural surroundings. Connect your set of dots in Maine, the way life should be. Roll up your sleeves. See the fruit from your hard work and labors where there is a real, genuine sense of unity, community surrounding you up here in the right hand corner of the country.