No man is an island, although Maine has a slew of them off the rock bound rugged coast line.
And out in the middle of many of our 6000 lakes. In my job as a Maine real estate broker, I find many relocating or retiring buyers often cite getting away from people as the primary goal of the move. They enjoy the low prices of Maine real estate. But it is the space, the ability to get away from wall to wall people that is the largest carrot being south, chased, causing the move part or full time.
It is not that the folks that share this philosophy are anti social. Many are the most creative, interesting people you could ever hope to meet and learn from, share stories with.
But it is just where they used to live, it was becoming a constant case of who am I bothering today?
Or who is going to be in my face and irritating me today thinking, situation. Whether in grid lock traffic, worrying about crime and gangs, or just not feeling like you can ever get away to your own personal space place. New Jersey has 1000 people per square mile, Maine has 11 in that same area where I live. Alaska has one so harder to bother someone who is not right on top of you.
The older I get, the more I enjoy blunt, outspoken say it like it is people. No punches pulled, cut to the chase about what they are thinking. Nothing held in. I don’t react to them as rude, insensitive. Just keeps it simple when they plainly state what they want, hope for in situations, conversations. I respect that. But some would not. Saying they have no right, or well, I never and suddenly getting in to a huff, borderline snarky starting to happen. With lips curled and an “I’ll show them” vigor and borderline hatred brewing. Taking it way way too personal.
Misunderstandings happen from missing information, something left out that is vital, key. Or because of what we see, hear based on earlier life experiences recalled by others with versions that may not be close to the truth. Example, please pass the pepper could be interpreted from the other side of the table as “don’t talk to me in that tone of voice and demanding tone”. All I asked for was the pepper, please, when you get to it.
Expecting others to be twins, feel the same about life, events, other people in it is unrealistic.
And frankly boring, narrow, limited. Different opinions are healthy and how we grow.
And if you carry deep insecurities from something lacking as a kid like not being hugged enough, affirmed that you do have value rather than what did you do wrong now, it filters how you see, react to others. If you were abused, or spoiled or neglected, and learned behaviors from your parents like green eyed jealousy, hoity toity arrogance or just garden variety lack of personal responsiblity when things go hay wire, that adds another lense or two. To the process between the ears of how do you see the reality of day to day with all the colorful people we have in it.
Especially the people with purple ears, that get all their news, do their summing people and events up with what they hear through the grapevine.
Which sometimes is pretty darn accurate or hopelessly wrong from the get go.
In Maine you can do your own thinking, people respect others opinions but it starts with your own personal journey to be a better person. One who contributes to society, has purpose in the local community volunteering from as many worthwhile causes as possible to make a difference. Not for attention but because everything in a small Maine down is home grown not store bought. I don’t take another person’s opinion on what kind of place is that new diner that just opened up with the Maine seafood? I try the fried or steamed clams and let my own stomach decide if it is worth a return visit but reserving judgement until the honeymoon newness is over and all the wrinkles, bugs are out of the operation and it’s running smoothly.