Had an older couple in the real estate office in Maine a couple years back.
Who witnessed a melt down and the most foul language you have ever heard come out of a youngster’s mouth. Like he was Black Beard the pirate’s kid. The verbal, physical attack on his mother and out of control behavior twister was a inside category five hurricane.
Who after dragging junior kicking, crying and screaming, the parents left.
The looking for a Maine house process was scrapped for the day. The older gent has some observations to share. Figured there are kids with mental, physical complications.
Legitimate reasons to explain the outbursts or poor impulse control some display in their attempt to cope with life’s ups and downs.
But that he was not a fellow quick to side walk diagnose all with ADD, ADHD, ODD. The many other alphabet labels to pass off as normal the behavior you see out and about in society. Maybe it’s a little the DNA. The chemicals, radiation we are exposed to along with overbooked crazy schedules. Lots to blame on the role model conditioning, good or bad.
He said when he was a Maine kid he remembered four letters that pretty much sized up the few that got out of line.
Under his teachers, parents, coaches, folks in authority in his small Maine town. The letters were B-R-A-T. To be used to label most throwing a tantrum. Used to getting their way. Not pretty but it worked and was tried and tested effective by their enablers at home.
Nothing organically, psychologically out of whack. Just poor parenting, missing guidance and instruction conditioning. And routines, continuity and teaching appropriate behavior just not started very early or at all. And running up through the time the children leave the nest.
Usually what was to blame along with alcohol, witnessing physical and verbal abuse. Neglect or other terrible events as a family no one is so proud off but kept in the dark. And kids, parents self medicating, lacking the skills of how to cope in healthy ways to the stress. That overwhelms when they tend to over-react, shut down. And can not throttle it back. When red line, over RPM “watch out she’s gonna blow” happens.
I know a lady who as a new born infant had a hard time eating, keeping food down.
Her mom’s frustration feeding her as a baby making her at wit’s end, exhausted, frustrated to tears. Trying to juggle a demanding husband expecting too much when home from slaying dragons. And other children to raise in the perfect mother’s home that had nothing out of place. Was museum perfect, spit polished.
The child grew to sense the resentment that continued in her life. From the mother who held it against the child growing up. Was not so warm, affectionate, supportive. More stern, demanding, critical, cold.
It made me think maybe the cause was in part from Mom’s medications.
When the child could not help the lack of ability to take, keep down sustenance. Because it was tied to the drug regiment given to Mother to relax from worry and affecting the new born’s mouth muscles to drink, throat ones to avoid gagging and to simply swallow successfully.
Between 1958 and 1965 in one study, half of all new mothers took two to four pharmaceutical products during pregnancy. Had always heard about DES to avoid miscarriages, premature labor. About Thalidomide prescribed as a sedative, hypnotic to cure anxiety, insomnia, gastritis and tension. That lead to the birth defects that caused the wonder drug to end up being pulled off the shelves for limb deficiencies. Lots of other horrible birth defects, many deaths.
So if two out of four mothers were taking pills waiting for the stork to arrive, could those meds help explain behavioral, developmental problems with the kids that did make it to the outside?
Anxiety was not created by the modern meds, has not been cured by them either. All those different colored pills the Rolling Stones sang about in the 1966 hit “Mother’s Little Helper”.
Did you grow up in a household where it was take a pill for everything?
And you continue the practice, dependency? Not just for aches or pains but handfuls for not totally sure why? But just don’t stop, hit me again. Secondary gain of a buzz? Did you eat fresh, grown close to home local produce and vegetables? Picked from the garden out back that you had to weed, tend, plant as a kid?
Greater amounts on the plate of green, other colored plants than animal, poultry or dairy product servings? More than ever with obesity, eating too much of the wrong food groups, you are what, how much you eat.
Join a local Maine food co-op, make farmer’s markets a regular habit. Maine offers a healthy lifestyle setting of outdoor four seasons recreation. The drop dead gorgeous scenery hits your spiritually, deep down inside where your soul lives. Might be a good choice for your relocation, move, in retirement to Maine plans.