What’s inside or missing in people we meet, have relationships of all kinds with in life?
Not what you have a gut feeling is inside. Not what they look you straight in the eye and tell you, believe themselves is inside. But the actual ingredients, tendencies, needs today.
What is in too great a supply of things that don’t set well with the way you are wired, built? What is missing and again something in a certain daily supply you need as a must in a relationship? Or what do you have more than enough for two of in this, this and this area. And the other person does too for something you are lacking for the needed daily requirement in a balanced, nutritious healthy relationship? But moderation of what you both need in the right supply to compliment what you already have on board inside each of you. The stuff that makes you unique, tick, shine, the way you need to roll. Not perfect but perfect for you. Custom made. Putting the fun in dysfunction.
And if you knew the good, bad and the ugly relationship nutritional ingredients easily read with a scanner or visually on the side of each and every person, time could be saved. Study the label as they lift their arm that is pasted on their side. Like you and I study them in the grocery aisles comparable shopping.
Sure, the mystery of getting to know someone can be fun exploring the unknown.
But knowing upfront what you need from the other, what you bring to the table for the good of the relationship. It can be argued people grow, change together and regardless of the here and now, can both build toward a shared vision of unity, oneness. From time to time the panels on each, the bar codes would need updating. Because life goes on, experiences happen.
And other people, your relationships rub off in good and not so great ways. Knowing hurt people hurt people. And often don’t always know why. Like if you had critical parents growing up that were not huggers, did not affirm you or make you feel worthwhile. That you could never please. Just seemingly disappoint. That kind of hurt, pain or missing needed childhood “vitamin” would mean your barcode, side panel would spell out “needs extra helping of daily hugs, confidence building and esteem boosting”.
No panel, no barcode, no communication with nothing held back is key. Otherwise you don’t know what is lacking, why the relationship later in life bogs down or stalls. But pretty sure it is the other person’s fault can happen. Thinking, reacting, feeling your way along blindly. Out of control. When the problem is your own to uncover, study, fix rather than coping in unhealthy ways blaming others for the “deficiency”. It takes two to shine. Or get axle deep, stuck in sinking quicksand.
But avoiding unhappy relationship box canyons going in almost sounds like arranged marriages by folks in other cultures that really knew the children.
And helped come along side to tie the knot that stays happily tied because of their experience from day one until the march down the aisle. They know the kids they raised and can predict this will or will not work. But there are surprises because some folks bring out your best… or worse. And the odds makers are not always right. There are flukes.
But for the long term, to know you are investing years to get decades, a lifetime not start, then start again. Not talking dating, but hoping for the rest of your life partner material. If you knew yourself, and matched the stuff that made you with what was needed to make the two of you even better. Too scientific for you? Not just relying on God or being in the dark, having to have faith in this kind of situation?
But ahh, who prints out the ingredient label, properly sets up the bar code for the reader, scanner?
Are we always honest with ourselves, are others we meet always open books, heart’s worn on their sleeves? Or do they pretend, convince themselves they are who they appear to the world to be. Coping the best they can or over compensating and missing true rich, deep happiness, joy, peace. But looking good to most.
Like being trim but not healthy, fit when microscoped. If you could hook up the mechanic’s diagnostics machinery. Plugged in and the reading showing you overheat under pressure. The graph shows capacity to be extra patient under a heavy load. Or prone to blame others when going gets tough. Or exta high levels of being a team player and ability to find the good when others deem situation dire, hopeless, a waste of time.
Information is powerful and quickly cuts to the chase on the likehood of a breakdown and in how many miles.
What to expect and odds of success, failure or going to be a case of just bumping along where both are not getting the maximum out of the relationship. Shown on the scope as here’s your problem. Loud and clear even though the truth hurts. It will set you free. Needs to be seen in black and white clarity. Like it or not.
Maine, a state where you get outdoors every chance you can. You get in tune with you. Know yourself inside and out. And the honest, down to Earth people around you pitch in, tell you things in a nice way about yourself. And are all ears to learn what can run off from your experiences, wisdom too. Maine, find your place in the space called Vacationland.