Mentors…they say you should have more than just one.
The thinking or logic being if that mentor dies, there goes the guidance. You lose your only GPS of wisdom, fountain of experience, conduit of common sense. Also, no matter how gifted or learned someone is, there are limits to the sheer volume, scope, depth of this mentor’s contribution to helping you shape your life. All of this begs the question. Do I take direction, will I listen, do I need to improve my thinking on the building blocks of human relations and how to not just survive but flourish joyfully in a world less than perfect?
If I was taught responsibility for my actions by caring parents. And if I sincerely want self improvement or realize others have puzzle pieces I need and that I carry pieces that will unlock life mysteries for them too, this is a beginning. The premise that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom brings up another question. Is God in your life? And do you fear anything, anyone? And if you further am humble, not so self absorbed that you blame others when things go wrong as a given, a certainity, you have maturity to know your role in the good, the bad, the ugly in the landscape around you.
Today, with more of a “me me me mentality” and “want it now” poor impulse control that is a big part to blame for the current economy, the mental health of this nation in priorities and “wants” versus “needs”, we have to get back to the it being about others premise that puts your happiness or sense of peace coming from others.
If a mentor is able to show you thru living example how to practice counting your blessings, being grateful, what joy looks like, feels like, that is a huge boost to life long contentment.
Knowing others out there have a much harder row to hoe gives us a whole new perspective and outlook. If a mentor is able to show us we need to dig in, work harder, pull ourselves up by the book straps with personal responsibility in life, we no longer expect others to meet our every need. We gain a self satisfaction of a job well done, over coming adversity with an active role from within. Searching, questioning, learning. It is a life long habit or should be. Not who do I blame, life’s not fair, a poor me personal habit of retreat serves no constructive purpose.
The voices inside your head.
There’s the one from your mom gently but constantly reminding you of basics you apply day to day like, everything in moderation, plan your work and work your plan, gratitude for what you do have being way way more constructive and settling than I wished I had this, could do that, had not done that. Another voice of your dad telling you to hang loose, get your sleep, stay in touch with your brothers and sisters. Getting your chores done before playing. Your teachers, professors, employers all adding another voice to the guidance stream and then your own voice of reason, experience that grows. It is like a healthy garden planted with the right variety, the correct spacing, the degree of nurturing, cultivating, watering to lead to a successful harvest and then do it all over again.
How many voices do you have in your head? Do you follow and learn from them or is there a struggle between a void
of missing installments, lack of players, or a personal dose of “don’t tell me what to do” that hinders maturity, growth and the ultimate passing down of life lessons to the next generation? Practice makes perfect is the addage. To play better golf, better anything you need to interact with better talent. But it all starts by turning up the volume of those information mentors, listening and applying what you hear and being able to harness, shape and create what is a unique you in your life. The variables change to make your life more of a Rubic’s Cube and interesting or challenging. You also have the past, present, future dimensions to consider to be in your right place for fullfilment, contentment, peace. Maine is a good place to enjoy less traffic, no crime, an awareness of the beautiful space around you. Neighbors who pitch in to help with a true sense of belonging, of local community pride live in Maine. Those are the voices I listen to inside my head. That’s why you might consider retiring here, relocating to Maine too.