The day to day and what it takes to feel fulfilled, satisfied, good inside and out about your life in Maine.
For starters, money is not the cure all or dog and pony carrot. Managing your resources is key. It is all about living within your means. Making purchases that are thought out, done in a good business fashion. Value received at a fair price but not waiting until the purchase is life and death at any price. And done in a hurry that causes regret, hard feelings and despair later on.
Instead you keep looking, patience has to happen until the right situation presents itself. And everyone in the Maine household has to be on the same page. Nothing lavish needed, and the motivation to go over the top in all out got to have it now spending should be examined. The motivation behind the spending pattern and in the case of a couple, both partners working to a common opinion. Most of the time.
Budgeting, everyone knowing what comes in has to be less than what goes out to keep the scales from leaning too far in the wrong direction.
It helps if growing up you saw two parents with the same vision, awareness of the bigger picture. And no one feeling controlled or bullied if one member was not so sure about the expenditure. Had fears, trepidations. Discussion without heated emotion or a tug of war of hurt feelings.
There is nothing personal, offensive about just not having enough revenue to meet the needs of the family household. Just the way it is, like it or not. Which includes the normal day to day light and heating bill, insurance, house payment and property taxes funding. The food on the table, building repairs, medical coverage, modest entertainment, vacation trip expenditures and other goals that include college accounts, retirement mile stones.
Or to create a nest egg, just a plain savings cushion for better sleep nights. The worries about running out stemming from the feeling like a hot stove touch. Not enjoying it the first time, wanting to avoid it another. Or growing up on a Maine farm that is nip and tuck, only for survivors, not anyone with a weak stomach.
Sometimes the spending tension is caused by simple unmet needs.
Not just the partners but the in laws. That have a hard time not sticking their beak in. To add their two cents whether needed, asked for or not. Or hurt feelings fester when the reality of a simple we can not afford it escalates in to don’t tell me what to do. Or we can too afford it when one partner is luke warm about the spending. Bowling them over. Like it or not. Or the degree of spending, the timing of it with everything else being juggled out of synch. That is needing payment. Leave and cleave thinking kicks in. Or should.
If one partner is better with money, more of a bean counter CPA to get the most value from a business background to stay a float for the long haul. But that needs to loosen up once in awhile. To evaluate that if the other person feels strongly enough, together, let’s forge, hammer out a budget on the direction to take.
Cutting back in one area to justify spending in another rationalization. All involving the two people, the we, the us, the union. A person alone and not used to consulting another out of habit can be a friction source too. Seeing the situation and going higher than the two personalities in it helps the problem solving, drama avoidance and tension, sulking, walking on egg shells punishment or bewilderment whip lash. Differentiating between not happy about the situation, the hot water but not laying blame on a person for all of it hook, line and sinker.
Avoiding awkward, tense situations by careful thought, choosing your words carefully means really trying to know, understand the other person.
Communication. Daily. Sharing. Caring, empathetic and realizing why they feel the way they do. Taking the time, really making the effort because of wanting to seek, maintain unity. To avoid red flags, miscues. It means forget what you think is the best course sometimes. Considering the other person to the point they know you are stretching, bending way over backwards than your comfort level. And the other person decides hold it. Is this something that is really needed or just wanted. And moves forward or pulls back. Without resentment but just feeling their input counts, on an equal playing field. To arrive at a common conclusion.
Or to prove a point that there is a new bull in the barn.
Hate that expression or one way domination attitude but had a husband express that at the kitchen table recently that made me wince, feel badly for the partner who was a mouse, cowardly and sullen. Have seen battle ax domineering wives do the same in reverse too so nothing sexist. Easy easy. That is not the healthy partnership from either side that resolves conflict, works resolutions. To grow closer and not blow apart the couple in frustration.
Maine, the extra space helps the thought process. The way we roll.