How well do you know yourself and wasn’t your favorite teacher growing up also the one that challenged you?
Your hardest teacher who kept you accountable. Made you believe you could do better, be more in an encouraging way? That was honest if you were slacking, trying to cut corners without putting the time, attention into the home work assignment and told you?
The outward appearance of the people you meet is what first gets your attention.
Or some rely on juicy gossip, rumor spreaders if you decide to let them do your thinking. With the public opinion of some more important than asking or taking the time to come to your own conclusion. Drawing wrong conclusions. Studying others, passing judgement based on not much happens a lot in our culture.
But getting closer, inviting in, allowed to see inside a person’s heart is a very fortunate but rare, elusive thing.
Because not all of us let ourselves take a serious, long hard look at the inside of your heart. You meet a lot of people that do not open up, that act, run and hide. That don’t dare to show you who they were yesterday, are today and working to be tomorrow.
Freely listing their weaknesses, greatest fears and why they have them is a healthier, honest approach. With no shame, guilt and knowing you have to be the same person inside and outside your home. Transparent if you are ever going to improve, grow more mature. But the truth is feared to scare someone away.
I like, love someone more if they do show me everything in time. Because you and I eventually figure it out any way. We all carry baggage. That opens up, can not be hidden for long. But we have to acknowledge we all have pieces we carry. Need to put down, leave behind with work.
Impressing others, giving an impression that you are something you are not comes from a steady diet of spin, marketing and being told it is all about you. Being happy and the center of attention twenty four | seven. Caring, sharing, kind and a loving heart and being a servant to others is where the real beauty is in a person. Inside that heart, not the layers and layers outside to appear glamorous, envied or full of pride and vanity.
People need to be tough skinned, tender hearted day in, day out.
When you are able to let your guard down which is hard for people that have been hurt and are hardened, then others that can help you see the soft spots. They also see the bruises, black blue and purple spots, stripes on your heart. That trust is important in a relationship to deepen it and not be just skimming the surface. For show.
Be your best but work to be even better. Don’t get comfortable or expect others to do all the heavy lifting, changing so your crank factor does not activate when you get frustrated, irritated. And automatically look around the room to see who is responsible. And they better cut it out. I did not say it is easy. I struggle with the same things I outline in my blog posts. But we help and learn from each other right when we compare notes honestly?
Surrendering. Waving the white flag is considered a sign of weakness. But being honest about your fears, weaknesses helps others be more sensitive and understand how you are built. Why you react the way you do that needs work, changing.
We need others to help perfect us along with being on our knees daily.
You don’t get help unless you ask for it. And it all starts with knowing you need it. That life improves when you understand yourself and are open, honest to get input from those your trust, who have lived with you long enough to make some interesting observations.
Listen to them, see if more than one friend, family member is pointing out things not with a harsh sharp tongue but out of love for you.
Lay your relationship cards face up on the table.
All of them, uh uh ahhh, that one up your sleeve too. Love does not let you keep any, hold back some for yourself when you trade hearts. When your concerns are the other person and yours become the other persons.
But keep the key to work on your inner joy, peace and to develop good character traits in your heart at the same time. There should be so much give and take, activity, communication back and forth to guide the unfolding process. You can not be free and easy if you are defensive, resentful or shut down and retreat.
Look up and take you eyes off those around you.
Avoid comparisions, keep your peepers on your own sheet of paper. Turn down the noise around you and listen to the small still voice inside that increases in volume, intensity the more time you spend on your knees, in prayer. Make it as important as air, water, food, shelter. It is.
Make the mental, spiritual shift of the need to “look good” outside to the world to working overtime to be pretty on the inside of your heart. So without words, it radiates, oozes with joy out of you so obviously.
To the point that those who have not seen you for a while stop, look and literally ask “What’s happening inside you?” And then without your response but just from your smile, they know without your answer exactly what’s up.
Keep it going, you are on the right track.
The one that is lighted, that shows you are worth your weight in salt afterall. No one else can fix you but they can guide you. And you can lend a hand in other people’s quest to live life healthier, more fully mentally, physically, spiritually. It can not be store bought and is all home grown natural.
Change your focus and instead of nagging, demanding, sulking, withdrawing, put all that wasted emotional time and effort in to attitude improvement. Adopt the life approach to others that it’s you who needs to change, improve.
Your misery, pain and suffering is not caused by others who don’t meet your expectations. It’s YOU not measuring up to be better, to help lift up the many relationships around us.
Take a blank white sheet of paper.
List all the things you don’t like about the person nearest and dearest to you. Take another sheet, jot down the areas you are weak in, what you need to work on. Long list on your self examination right and very few items if any on the other person’s run down right? You see the point.
Our way of looking at problem areas, other people we don’t really know is flawed. Too easy to point fingers, sit back and get lazy in your own corner. Get out of the ring, stop fighting and start healing.
Spend time alone, away from people and search your heart, examine your life, and ask yourself hard questions. Be your own harshest critic. be humble, full of humility, honesty. And come to understand the reasons why you are the way you are, why life unfolds the way it does that you are directly responsible for.
The junk, gunk, dark stuff you want to remove, change.
And to reveal the areas of you that just need a little polish to really shine to be a good servant, to show all your passion, purpose here on Earth. Other people do not trigger your negative attitudes, you allow your bitterness to develop. But love keeps no score of wrong. Think about the meat of Ephesians 4:31-32 today. It was my lesson today.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Maine, an easier place to figure things out because of less population, more beautiful four season surroundings.